I think the universe is playing on me.
These past several weeks, guess what, I dreamed of three different boys SO VERY CLEARLY. Like.......what. Why. How.
Ok maybe it's too soon but call me pathetic. The term 'dream' is sacred to me. It is not simply a dream, for once I believed it is a sign. I am here, studying a field I would never consider 3-4 years back then, in a land hundreds of kilos away from home, with no family nor relatives, and survived, at least for these 3 years, is because of A DREAM.
I take dreams seriously. It's kinda my way to communicate with unseen power somewhere sometime. So when it comes to someone coming to my dream with like a brief physical appearance and I KNOW WHOEVER HE/SHE IS: there must be something..........or maybe no............. maybe it's just me exagerating anything......or I don't know.......
But oh, it was B. He asked if we could try again and I said yes. So I thought maybe it was a good thing to wait, at least as long as I can bear.
But then it was N. We talked and suddenly I asked if we could try again but he refused. So I thought it might never be a good idea to let someone like him (like, him, for anything he did back then) take care of my heart.
But then again it was *. The one I NEVER EVER THOUGHT would come to my dream. He asked if we could try but, yea, it was just too unreal so I refused the first time. So I thought maybe yea, it will never be him.
But oh it was B again. He came for the third this time. We did try, and we had it good. But...what to conclude now?
Ok God, I want a prince charming. He might not be one for everybody but it's fine, totally fine as long as You think he is for me.
I have been praying for a good partner, good husband, since high school but I don't think it's enough already for You to grant it now. So please, please, don't show em unless when I'm ready.
But for now, God, could You please just slow down a lil bit....?