Aku Hanya Rindu.

Hai, sudah lama tak jumpa.
Terlalu banyak yang terlewat disini. Maybe I'll write soon.
Tapi...terlalu banyak hal besar, dear blog. Too many I can barely remember them all...

Tapi satu yang aku ingin kau tahu.
Setelah 19 tahun aku bertanya-tanya.
Apakah pacaran sebuah hal yang nyata?
Apakah dua orang itu ingin bersama atau hanya takut sendiri?
Apakah kita bisa menyayangi seseorang yang hanya dekat selama beberapa bulan belakangan?
Apakah, apakah, dan apakah lain yang masih banyak di otakku.....
Kini terjawab.

Dan ya.
Jawabannya bisa.

All this time, ketika semua orang mulai berpacaran dan aku tidak.
Ketika mereka milih jalan sama pacar ketimbang sama temen and I was like....DUDE, YOU THINK BOYFRIEND MEANS ALOT MORE THAN FRIENDS?
You know, I value people, I value friends way more than they think I do.
And if somehow I find them value boyfriends more than friends.. there must be something trouble in his way of thinking.
You surely know the difference. Well its kinda ambiguous though, sorry I mess up the meaning of just friends and best friends but everyone knows.
Friends are going to be there, they dont leave you. They wont break your heart. They wont make you cry, because we are simply friends. Good friends dont do stupid things to you.
But a boyfriend does.
Is it just me or this happens to almost everyone.
But after hearing all the stories behind break ups. Boys cheat. Boys leave. I'm sick of that.
It hurts, And that's what boyfriends going to do.

Itulah kenapa aku selalu mengkhususkan tiap rakaat dalam sholatku untuk suatu urusan.
Rakaat pertama untuk bersyukur atas satu hari yang Allah kasih.
Rakaat kedua untuk kelancaran rezeki apapun, kepandaian, uang, kelancaran urusan, dsb.
Rakaat ketiga untuk jodoh yang baik.
Rakaat keempat untuk keselamatan akhirat.
Dan membiasakannya sejak SMA. Well thanks to Wicesa yang sudah membuatku melakukannya..

Aku merasa, Allah sepertinya mendengar doaku..
Aku pernah minder karena sepertinya cuma aku yang ga pernah pacaran dimanapun aku berada.
Aku pernah malu maksimal pas osjur karena harus berdiri di barisan terdepan jumlah mantan (yang mana adalah 0).
Dan pernah-pernah yang lain.

I've got my types.
Aku pengen cowok ganteng. Siapa gamau?
Aku pengen cowok pinter jadi dia bisa ngajarin aku.
Aku pengen cowok yang jago olahraga jadi aku malu kalo gendut.
Aku pengen cowok bisa main musik jadi dia mainin sesuatu buat aku.
Aku pengen cowok romantis biar sering dibuat seneng.

Dan aku dapat dia.
Oh enggak deng. Dia yang dapat aku.
Tapi poinnya adalah,
dia tidak menunjukkan semua kriteria di atas yang aku inginkan.
tapi dia........membuatku tetap menjadi aku.
Aku ga berusaha jadi cewek termanis, teralim, dan ter-ter yang lain kalo di depannya.
Dia ga berusaha jadi cowok ter-gentle, terperhatian, dan ter-ter yang lain kalo di depanku,
And thats what matters.
Sekarang, sejak semuanya berawal 27 November 2015...
He's simply special, and even become more special each day. In ways people dont understand.
I couldnt ask for more.

I dont fall in love a lot. But once I do, I fall hard.
I think I fall a bit harder this time, and I miss him.

(yes ini post termenye-menyeku selama ini tapi aku lagi beneran kangen doi it's been 2 weeks since the last time we met -yaelah 2 minggu doang gaketemu aja gini, dude i know what you're thinking but let me experience pacaran pertamaku gratefully and gracefully- yes more posts coming up stay tuned)

Schools: A Place to Learn or A Place to Earn?

It has been a week since the national examination for the 12th grader students was conducted. However, the hype is not over yet. Moments ago, people were shocked by the news released by the ministry of education which stated that some schools have to re-test their students due to some leaked questions issues. This phenomenon seems enough to add the preceeding sensation caused by the first online national examination ever held in some selected schools. However, it does not only stop there. Nowadays, it is such a common thing when we hear that the children of the city’s most respected general can be accepted in any schools they want without passing any tests nor fulfilling any required qualification standards. This is a sad irony when students eventually think school is merely trifles which can be manipulated. No wonder, the education system in Indonesia has finally left students with no integrity.

Students, which should be the subject of the education itself, have now been slaved by dishonesty . They pay their exam grades with answer keys they do not even know the truth. How could this happen? There are two main reasons behind it. Firstly, at school, students are taught the conservative way. What teachers say and how they write is what the students concern much, instead of the knowledge. Going home, what the students got from those eight hours at school is how to imitate their teachers. And what will happen if they do not follow their teachers’ way? It could get them anything, from an A to an E. Their originality, on the other hand, is not appreciated. It is the whole grading system that most students are afraid of which leads them to believing answer keys rather than their own ability.

Secondly, students these days are mostly money-orientated. People’s paradigm that states people with good grades or GPA are likely to have a more prosperous life, and definitely more money, has driven the students’ mind to limit what they are actually passionate about. Specifically in Indonesia, for instance, the paradigm that art-based money-making will not make an established life has made it even worse. This may be the cause why parents give their children a mathematics, chemistry, and other most-hated-subjects course instead of giving them a course that will develop their nonacademic skills. At the end, it leads students whose passion is dancing, singing, and other artistry, to a limitation to their creativity. This is dangerous as the core of education is actually, to create something better for the human race which surely will not happen without any creativity.

Despite some controversy wheter to change the education system of Indonesia or not, some people believe that this kind of system still brings  a new hope to the country as well. This kind of system, which makes students master many subjects at once, is beneficial as the basic knowledge of the students at the real work life. This same system, which seems to force students to study the subjects they hate the most, is a way to teach critical and logical thinking. And national examination, which has been considered as the roots of all education problems in Indonesia, is the easiest way to let students know what they are actually worth of and this will help them much in deciding what major they should have in college and what they want to be in the future and also acts as the simplest way to map out the students’ ability over a region and compare it to the other regions in order to make a better education strategy.

In the end, the education system this country is obtaining does have positive and negative sides. However, this system still needs lots of improvement since the subjects of the education itself, students, do not seem to hold the integrity any longer. Yet, once this issue is solved, I believe that the education system will evolve to be a better one.

This essay was written 2 weeks ago,

when the issue of National Examination was still very happening.

Anyway, I do hope someday Indonesia will be one of those

so-called

superpower

country

other country adore

because we (students) are simply

as awesome as them abroad!

Smartphones: What Is Expected and How It Turns Out To Be

It takes only few months for Apple Inc. to replace their latest products, iPhone 5S, to the more sophisticated one, iPhone 6. As we can see, the time span taken by these companies to release their so-called high-technology products is getting shorter. We cannot deny that the development of technology has brought us to the new phase of life. Unavoidably, people’s lifestyle is gradually affected that they now change their phones as easy as fashion trends. A recent study published in the Journal of Behavioral Addiction found that female college students spend an average of 10 hours a day on their smartphones, while men are reported to spend nearly eight. This phenomenon leads us to an expected fact that most people nowadays have misused their smartphones to gain popularity instead of socializing with others. No wonder, the phrase “smartphones bring those who are far close and bring who are close distant” will perfectly describe this social issue the urban society is facing.

Along with the advantages smartphones have given, we can conclude that this technology is undeniably a shortcut to more accessible internet connectivity which brings everyone connected. That is why, the ease of access, availability, and portability makes smartphones twice as addictive –and seductive- as other high-tech products. A research conducted by Nielsen Statistics in 2014 shows that averagely 62,15% of our time spent on the smartphones was contributed by chatting, browsing, and the use of utility apps. Human’s nature of feeling a need to be socially connected plays a big role as well in the field of how social media urges the importance of smartphones.

Walking down the street, people are busy looking down to their phones. Scrolling, playing, and even texting while they run to catch the bus. A long-time-friends meet up is a kind of time-wasting stuff since those silly conversations have now gone and been replaced by the silence created while having another kind of conversation with virtual friends out there. Ironically, our society is having their own clone in the virtual world lies among us where there is no more real time and space, but only a handful of technology development we call smartphones. Smartphones are such an addiction and just like any other addictions, the more we get attached to it, the more it hypnotizes us.

Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Snapchat are some kinds of today’s social media which attract our attention a little bit too much. These are the source of our “anxiety” as well. The feeling we are going to miss something if we do not constantly check our smartphones leads us to an illusion which is never real. The fact that people now take popularity as a great deal and simply state it as a part of self-quality has affected people’s paradigm about what they should use their smartphones for. Constantly receiving lots of hearts or likes on social media instantly heighten their self-confidence and create a delusional self-importance. Actually, this is the dark side we have to be worry about.

Smartphones, along with the effectiveness and efficiency they offer, have been widely misused to gain popularity instead of socializing with others. However, smartphones can actually be a great device to help ourselves perform jobs at best, but it is more important to create guide lines of when it is approriate to use and when it is not in order to optimize the use to something more beneficial.

Harry Potter: The Chosen One

Harry  James Potter was destined for greatness by the time he was born. Known as the only boy who lived after surviving a tremendous attack which had killed his parents from Lord Voldemort. It was not until in the age of 11 that Harry knew he was the one who was meant to defeat the wizard’s world most frightened enemy. However, the magic blood running through his veins had only left him stand still through all the tragedy and adversity caused by the following formidable fights with Voldemort, who never stopped trying to kill Harry. During his first years at Hogwarts, Harry outdid Professor Quirrel, Defense to Dark Magic teacher whose body was controlled by the Dark Lord to trap Harry. Chosen to Gryffindor, the so-called house where bravery and chivalry were praised for, Harry surprisingly was capable of communicating in Parseltongue, snake language for which the Slytherins were famous of. Thus, he finally unveiled the existence of the chamber of secrets which had never been exposed for decades. Harry then got the chance to face Voldemort personally right after using his blood as part of Voldemort’s resurrection potion, but nobody was killed in that duel on the Little Hangleton graveyard. Voldemort finally was killed by his own backfiring curse, after The Order of Phoenix, led by Dumbledore and then Harry Potter after Dumbledore’s death, succeeded in destroying all of his horcruxes where he split his soul into to become immortal. Harry’s courage and sacrifice to end the dark reign to save the ones he truly cared about laid him on the dignity from the wizard world and made him one of the most inspirational character people have ever heard of.

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."

J.K. Rowling

Defining Dance.

So everyone's been asking me how I got involved into these dance stuffs.

I dont know either. It just happened. I got to know more about dance by accident.

The accident that I am grateful of :)

Long time ago (maybe 5/6 years ago), there was an audition to become the cheerleaders members of my Junior High School cheers squad. I didnt pay any attention, I am telling you, AT ALL. Well, I had dance class at elementary school but that was all. Once elementary was over, this dance stuff was so. But at that jahiliyah moment (I refer to my JHS moments) I had best friend, Camilla (I simply call her Cumpi -and we're still best friends even in distance) and she was so famous (like, jeez, can u imagine. we were still freshmen, from elementary to junior high and she had already been known by the peeps there even by the 3rd grader, it was like she was the princess and I was the pauper....) by the fact that she loved dancing and the cheers members invited her to join the audition. Cumpi said okay, BUT, with the condition that me and some of my other friends join too. So......blablablablabla we were accepted and this journey began.

The more you do something, the more you know it. I learn by doing. I did not know what dance is at all that moment. But everything was like a fast movie, it flies so fast that finally I am here, experiencing my 7th year of dancing.

Later I knew, dancing is not only about moving your body. Dancing is way more beautiful than that. To dance is to express your soul, your feeling, your emotion, your love, your anger, everything. To dance is to really feel what is inside my mind. Like free-ing anything. I can be happy and sad at the same time. Dancing is to deliver something. Energy and passion. More than that, dancing is a tribute. To people, to art, to society. Dancing is a dedication. There aint no way you can dance without you being dedicated to something. That way, I always try my best at any dance I danced. Not to show people that I am a good dancer, no, not at all. Just to show them I appreciate them, by giving them the best entertainment I can give at my best. So they get something, my message, without me telling them but by my moves.

So dancing is pure to me. I'd rather not doing dance moves at all than dancing without preparation.

Because like I've told you, dancing is not just dance.



It is the love of my life, and I want to give my love the best I have.