Who thought I'd be in the same phase, exactly 4 months later?
Who expected I'd be crying over the same thing in the same place, 4 months later?
The fallen pieces are just the same, the difference?
Now, you're the one who makes it.
If in the end, we go separate ways, you and me, so that's the thing with my heart.
The problem is, when you're gone, you're taking away my dreams too.
They're the part of me and I just can't.
You were so sure about what you said,
that you liked getting lost in me,
that you didn't want to lose me,
that you loved me,
that we had so much in common,
that you had your dreams set and we happened to be in the same path.
And I started to believe it my self.
I started to get you to my life, to lean on you, to do my firsts believing you won't break me, you won't leave me.
Turns out, it starts consuming me: the presence of you, the touch of your skin, the promises you made, your voice, your smell, the thought that we'd end up together and live your dreams (which finally become mine as well) side by side.
Am I wrong? Tell me, where did I do wrong?
Is it me being too stupid to believe you really were, or is it you, who's not ready enough to get over your past, expecting me to satisfy your need with the image of her through my self, blaming me and your problems over the way you leave?
I thought when people said 'I love you' they mean 'I love you forever'.
See? Forever is delusional, like you are.
Is it me being too stupid to believe in you? Is it?
I thought we would fight for each other. I thought we'd fix it, provided something broken.
I thought we'd make it. I really did.
I thought we'd last, that is why here I am, trying to have your back, doing everything I can to assure you, I try, I really did, and I still am.
But you're gone, all of a sudden.
Is this how you're gonna treat me? Fly me high and left me, didn't even have the intention to catch me when I fall.
Why did you ask me if I loved you, while you're the one who didn't? You're the one who leaves, who gives up?
Why? Cause I can never think about it myself.
Let me tell you this one thing.
I rarely fall, but once I do, I fall hard. I think I've told you several times the other days.
You might not see it, but yes, too much things I did the firsts to show you how much I cared, things I have never given to anybody else before you.
I'd risk my self, that's how I love you, the only way I know to love you.
And you still question it?
Cause when you're gone, you're taking away my part who believed in what you said.
And I believed in everything you said with all my heart.
Are you gonna break me?
This damaged girl who just tried to move on but got broken once again? Who just turned 20 looking for her prince charming til she realized she might have found it, that she finally started expecting her prince charming to be hers, to be the one, to be her everything she's brave enough to even think about spending the rest of her life in the future with?
Are you?
Cause if yes, why would you be so sure about anything? How could you?
Why did you have to make me believe we would make it?
Cause that's gonna be the rudest thing a gentleman could ever do to a woman.
And I believe wholeheartedly you were one.
Please, to whom I should lean on to now? Who's gonna stand by me, believing in me that I could overcome all my pitfalls? Who's gonna find my flaws just adorable? Who's gonna rub my back when I cry?
Please,
how can I make myself whole again
when a part of me
has unapologetically
gone with you?