Why Do I?

hv u ever been so lost like u hv so much to do but u dont know which one to do first n u hv a war going on on your mind like you're gonna explode cos the world is too cruel for this fragile soul of yours....

hv u ever been in a crowd with so much noises around but u feel empty u just want someone to hug u convincing that you will be alright that this is gonna be just okay in the end like...u just want to be understood but everybody seems to hv their own business and all u can do is simply doing ur shits all over again...

hv u ever been so lonely like u just need someone to talk to but u cant talk to ur mom cos she'll never know this battle going on in ur heart bcs it's not 'her thing' so u just keep ur mouth closed and let yourself drown in room of anxiety that ur mind creates, hoping you'll slowly dissappear and nobody will notice...

hv u ever been so deeply sad but u cant just shed ur tears cos u dont even know how u get so sad and it feels like u've known this kind of feeling since forever and it feels like u're getting used to it lately......

tell me how to get over it,
get over anything that burdens me

so god, can I ask You a question?

kenapa aku harus mengenal cinta?

Little Kids Just Looking for Love.

We're all hoping, we're all hopeless
We're all thorns and we're all roses
We're all looking down our noses at ourselves
We're all flawed and we're all perfect
We're all lost and we're all hurting
And just searching for somebody to love

We're all liars, we're all legends
We're all tens, that want elevens
We're all trying to get to heaven, but not today
We're all happy, we're all hatin'
We're all patiently impatient
And just waiting for somebody to love

We're all good, but we ain't angels
We all sin, but we ain't devils
We're all pots and we're all kettles
But we can't see it in ourselves
We're all livin' 'til we're dying
We ain't cool, but man, we're trying
Just thinking we'll be fixed by someone else

We all wrangle with religion
We all talk, but we don't listen
We're all starving for attention then we'll run
We're all paper, we're all scissors
We're all fightin' with our mirrors
Scared we'll never find somebody to love

Just tryin' to hold it all together
We all wish our best was better
Just hopin' that forever's really real
We'll miss a dime to grab a nickel
Overcomplicate the simple
We're all little kids just looking for love
Yeah, don't we all just want somebody to love?

It's 3 pm now and crowds around.
Why the hell am I having this thought?

Kacey never fails tho.

To Whom It May Concern.

A girl who is used to being on her own probably doesn’t need you. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you.

Just because she can walk the road alone, doesn’t mean she wouldn’t enjoy your company.

See, the truth about being on your own is that after a while, being on your own becomes your safe space. There’s a reliability in answering to only yourself, to only worrying about yourself. And though at times it can be lonely, it’s a softer lonely. It’s a loneliness that eventually becomes familiar and almost beautiful.

So when someone else comes in, and shakes up that world and that loneliness, it’s jarring.

And so, for a while, there’s going to be some adjustment. There’s going to be some ebb and flow, some give and take. There’s going to be some fear on her end. Not only because she’ll be tentative to let you into her world, to let you scale those walls, to invite you into a life that previously only hers.

But there will also be the fear that if she does let you in, does trust you, that she’ll stop being comfortable on her own, and start to only be comfortable with you.

And the intrinsic fear of getting comfortable with another person is, “What do I do if they leave?” When you love a girl who is used to being on her own, you’re loving a girl who is scared by the possibility of ever having to relearn how to do that. You’re saying, “Please let me in,” while she’s saying, “Please don’t go.” There’s an ease to being on your own once you get used to it, but the getting used to it part is often times an uphill battle, an incredibly difficult journey, and she really dreads the possibility of having to do it again.

So when you love a girl who has been used to being on her own, please be prepared to stay. Be ready to hold her hand when she says, “I can do it,” and respond with, “But I can help.” Be ready to learn about her life, her world, and find a way to respect it while still being a part of it.

Be ready to scale the walls she’s built around her heart, and be ready to never worry about what’s going on outside of them. Because when you do, when you really do, she’ll be ready to never let you go.

From @thoughtcatalog on instagram

Another Late Night Thought.

Because
you can't speak
to someone who
took away everything
that you were
without even caring.

So instead,
I walked straight our past memories,
and pretended the word 'us' never happened.

Now tell me,
when will I stop urging for you?

How Do You Find Your Kinda Pleasure?

Not a big deal for me anyway.

I am easily satisfied by simple things.
Bau hujan, petrichore katanya
Bau bensin, sederhana tapi memabukkan
Uang koin di selipan tas atau kantong celana
Humor receh, yang superreceh
Traffic light lampu ijo
Bau masakan Eyang
Simple note specially made for me on something
Dengerin orang medok di tanah Sunda
Masuk kosan tanpa copot sandal
Video tutorial make up
Sawah
Pemandangan di atas jalan tol
Jalan berkelok
Udara dingin
Gunung
Langit berbintang
Senyuman orang

Oh yes, look how beautiful it is ketika ada ibuk-ibuk bilang 'makasi neng' sambil tersenyum hanya karena kamu memegang tangan beliau waktu naik angkot karna angkotnya keburu jalan dan si ibuk belum duduk.

Just look at how beautiful it is and how you heart suddenly felt at peace looking at that curve of gratitude.

Happiness is a state of mind.
You don't wait for it, you create it.

Itulah kenapa aku bingung ketika orang bilang susah bahagia.

You ask for too much, kiddos.
Wanna know one thing?

Deal with it. With everything.
Cos you can never please anybody.
Dan semakin kamu berpikir hidup ini kurang, kamu akan menemukan bahwa sejatinya hidupmu memang kurang.