The Joy of Making Other People's Joy.

Last night, 2 am to be exact, amidst the midnight hustle of completing the registration form of Asian Paragames 2018 as volunteers, a chat from Abner popped to my laptop screen.

BETH
I GOT IT
IM IN YLI NATIONAL 

And I was like....happy.
I stared at those chat for seconds, and smiled.
I am truly, deeply, happy for his achievement.

BETH THANK YOU BGTT FOR EVERYTHING
GODDD
I couldn't have done it wo u:(

I just, I lost words. Ini adalah salah satu momen kecil dalam hidup yang jauh lebih berarti daripada 1000x makan Gyukaku gratis. The feeling that I can actually help someone, encourage someone, inspire someone to go beyond what holds them back. Growing up in a family where I need to think (and think again) about whatever decision I've gotta make due to the limited resources we had, to think visionary and dare to aim high, is a privilege. And I know it sucks. It sucks not knowing someone you can look up to, it sucks not having someone who believes in you, it sucks not having full support by your back. And I don't want many more people feel the way I felt.

Semakin dewasa, when things got scary, yang terjadi padaku adalah keinginan untuk mewujudkan mimpiku semakin menggebu. Pada saat yang sama, realita sangat menohok dan mau nggak mau bikin aku jadi berpikir realistis. Tapi, perlahan aku jadi semakin paham apa yang Tidar bilang di awal 2017 lalu:

"Resolusi saya cuma satu. Use me."

USE ME.
In the end, I probably won't care whether my dream will happen or just be another dream... I will still be happy as long as people are using me, in whatever way possible. I may not achieve my dream, but I make way for other people to achieve theirs. And I guess, that probably will feel just the same.

***

DISCLAIMER

That way, aku suka sedih kalo orang bilang Bethari sombong lah, personal branding lah, dll lah (yang menyakitkan hati). Nggak mau munafik, ada kok just a tiny part yang menjurus kesana. But overall, I'm doing what I did in instagram (and whatever medium that is), because I LOVE DOING it (perks of ENFP). I know I kinda have the power. I've got followers I need to educate, I need to inspire, I need to encourage. And the only way to do it right is by doing it in the right way.

So people, if you happen to read this post, and in some ways you think I might can help you, just contact me.

I would try my best to help you.