Corona Rage.

Seriously I've never seen a condition worse than it is recently. Corona, I'm eyeing on you.

Just this morning I received a very sad info on how my dear SDC friend, Faizal, lost both of his parents within one week. Tuesday last week was her mom, and Tuesday yesterday was his dad. Today is Wednesday.

This condition is very.....devastating. I should be working by now, but I really can't concentrate due to what's going on just today. I went to Kodam V Brawijaya to get myself vaccinated, and it was cancelled suddenly bcs the health workers was out of energy from the previous day vax. NO HEADS UP/ANNOUNCEMENT. Just like that. This is my 6th failed attempts on vaccination. Have I told you? If not, yes I'm telling you I've come to 6 different health facilities (hospital, puskesmas, mall, stations) both with and/or without appointment but no signs of getting one anytime soon. Harus marah ke siapa? Nggak tau. At this point I'm already desperate. And lost my faith already.

Of my own health. My family's. My friend's. My country's.

I am so raged. To I-dont-know-who. Who to blame for anyway? It's a collective disgrace. Sometimes I curse myself for still going out for a casual walk (despite the double mask, cap, long jacket, whatever to I hope will keep me safe). But I guess we all are exhausted with what's going on we need some (literal) fresh air. I gotta say I hate Indo govt VERY BAD with the PPKM/PSBB/whatever-you-call-it-so-long-it's-not-Karantina-Wilayah loose regulation. But at the same time, I know we have 270mn headcounts from the start. Are we rich enough to feed all? No. I'm a realistic kid.

I am so disheartened. I'm so wanting to cry to what's happening to Faizal. I am so sorry for his loss (and to others who's lost their loved ones too). Deaths are not mere number. It's somebody's father, mother, bestfriend, nephew....... Gabisa bayangin jadi Faizal. Aku dengan kondisi keluarga yang masih sehat aja very anxious & uneasy, apalagi dia. And the fact that he's a very good guy with a very pure heart..... I'm questioning everytime why did it happen to him? I really want to physically console him and give him a hug. But I can't. This stressed me out.

Cari rumah sakit susah. Cari oksigen susah. Cari duit susah. Tapi cari vaksin juga susah. Kita harus gimana? In these trying times it's just so difficult to keep a positive mindset. I know I'm in control of what I consume, but it's just so hard to be an optimist if what's on my table are bad enough to begin with.

Corona, have you not done ruining our lives? Can you vanish already?

I hate you. I can't stress this enough. I hate you.