Living Inside The Shell.

Some nights ago I checked on my best friend's instagram profile from one famous engineering institute in my hometown. Guess what? She's going abroad again this year, having her 3rd exchange since we stepped on college life.

I looked at my life right away.....
And realized I have done nothing to my life. Exactly nothing compared to her.

Well I won some beauty contests here and there but that's.....all. That's that and only that.
Having a college life in this so-called best engineering institute in the country surely is something I am grateful of, but somehow.... that life is the same life I am complaining right now. The same life I wish I could pause a little while to breath a fresher air. The same life I constantly try to get away every day I wake up. The same life I hope I could change for a sec with whoever I thought having an easier one.

What am I doing here? Why the hell I chose to spend my college life this far? How could I be so sure? What keeps me going?

They want us to explore the world yet at the same time they take away our wings.
They ask us to step on as many places as we can while all they're doing is limiting our directions.
They wish us the very best of luck for our bright future and keep giving us the same black color as borders.
What is happening?

This college day was the day I kept waiting for every possible opportunity I could take. Some I might have taken, but some....are gone by the deadlines, reports, quizzes, exams. Here my life is a series of:

2 weeks of happy days
2 weeks of enjoying homework-free while college starts looking dull
Practicum
Reports
Sleepless nights
Wake up at 8
Class at 10
Mid-test next week
Other subject's mid-test next week also
And suddenly next week is full of mid-tests
Practicum again
Report again
Forum himpunan
Gak kuorum
Forum again
Practicum
Lab-assisting
Tubes A
Tubes B
Tubes C.....Z
Final tests
.
.
.
ALL.IN.REPEAT.MODE.EVERY.SEMESTER.

I envy her who chase for the meaning of life by visiting places and seeing the world, not by cups of coffee nor pile of reports which will end up as bungkus gorengan, even if we come to the same orifice. The workload, I'm not saying it's unbearable. IT IS, but....what kind of self-development do you expect from the same college buildings in days and 24-hours cafes at night on almost daily basis? We keep going but going nowhere.

I mean, what do they want us to be in the future? A bachelor of Microsoft Office?
Interesting offer, but no.

Still a proud industrial engineering student, tho.