I mean, I was not the kind of person who...writes. Isn't it obvious? I talk. A bit too much sometimes. And find it a bit hard to pour it into words which definitely, will take more time than just finding that somebody and tell 'em what's in your head right away.
I am committing my self a year of consistency this year in everything I can think about, in positive way ofc (you sure as hell don't want me to be consistent on being all blue and grey and gloomy ok gone are those days!). In studying and academic stuffs, nonacademic ones as well, in writing, basically anything related to 'finish what you started' 'cause I left a lot unfinished business last year and it was horrible. So here I am.
Back again.
I don't read a lot. I read only 3-4 books every year (SADLY) since I went to college. Ok lets do the comparison. My highschool aimed to has the highest literacy number in Indonesia (does the word make sense? ok in Bahasa's simplest way I mean 'sekolah dengan tingkat literasi -baca buku- tertinggi) so the headmaster proposed us an annoying policy to start the class at 6.30 (intially at 7) which is pretty much a 'ASDSGFH!@%$#&$*?' for anak Sidoarjo like me who travels 45 minutes to school everyaday like 'what miss? do you want me to get up at 3, breakfast at 4, and go to school at 5 every single day? no thank you but i have to' kinda feeling and allocate the first 15 minutes to read book (be it fiction, science, and absolutely NOT textbooks) and write a short summary regarding to what we read that day. But somehow it turned out not bad, actually. As far as I remembered, I was quite the front runner in class. I am one of those who read the most in a whole month. I READ 7 BOOKS IN A MONTH (what an achievement!!!) and not to mention that was none of those chimpy books (it was Anne and the Green Gables Series, if you know). Ah jadi kangen sama novelnya :( SO YEAH, bottom line is: college life hits me hard.
This year, I commit to write more. Whatever the writings might be. I want to live as long as I can but I know I cant so I write since people say 'when you write, you'll live forever', right?
This journey of writing leads me to big beautiful world of words.
I end up paying more attention to poems, prose, sayings, captions, you name it. I end up following quotes accounts on instagram and being overly happy to find someone who links their bio to their blogs or tumblrs.
I love people and stories. I love reading events pretty much close to the world I'm living. I love reading people's feeling, their unspoken thoughts out-poured in such raw ways. I love seeing them from the points no one's ever tried to understand. I love imagining how their life was that they write such stories, and often I end up having refreshment about anything. There's always something I can look up to from them, something I can learn, something they unintentionally gave to me: a lesson, an inspiration.
That way I may have found the reasons why it's so hard for me to finish fictions: I hate dramas and stories I can't relate to. Fictions are surreal. End of story.
This journey of writing makes me read. Not in those piles of books but those tabs of blog posts.
I read my lecturer's blog and later did I know how much he loved his little family that he always talked about them in between the lectures. I read my fellow Infinity member's blog and later did I know she can 'see' umm.... the parallel universe we have (which is a subtle way to say...... ghosts and such spirits.....ummm....ok lets move on). I read one famous blogger's blog and later did I know her boyfriend committed suicide one day. I read my ex-crush's ex girlfriend's tumblr and later did I know that she's not that creepy like creepy ways he used to tell me (frankly speaking- her writings are ALL GOOD. ALL!). I read my understated classmate's tumblr and later did I know that she has exactly the same way of thinking as I am in some cases.
I spend a lot my time to read people's stories and end up gaining more about life.
So, what could have been better?
***
My writings here may won't give you a lot, but I hope you receive something. I may not write the best mind-blowing experience and share the wisest words, so let this be a reminder that I am just one miserable human being in a miserable world 'cause in the end of the day, we all are. Aren't we?
Anyway, here's my current (and likely, forever) favorite blogs/tumblrs:
Claradevi H. - that famous blogger
Yasmin Aruni - that ex-crush's ex-girlfriend
Dwi Wahyu - that understated classmate
and you'll understand what kind of stories I do read.
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